They”ve got the tallest floodlights in the world,
They”ve got the tallest floodlights in the world,
They”ve got the tallest floodlights in the world,
Cause City are a MASSIVE club!
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* They”ve got Curly Watts as a celebrity fan…
* They had a continental Laser Blue Kappa Kit…
* They had the widest pitch in the Nationwide…
* They”re going to turn Manchester into Milan…
* They had the future England captain but his cruciate”s gone…
* They wanted a civic reception when they”d won f**k all…
* They”ve got 54 players and they”re all f**king s**te…
* They signed Spencer Prior on deadline day…
* They”ve got the Gallagher brothers in the Guvernors…
* They”ve got 3 Gold Stars on their new club badge…
* They took a quarter of a million to Ewood Park…
* They”ve got 3007 in a temporary stand…
* They”ve got the tallest corner flags in the world…
* They go to Cardiff and Wrexham on their Euro Aways…
* They won the Shamrock Trophy in ‘92…
* They had Ryan Giggs on schoolboy forms…
* They”ve got a dirty old slapper with a rusty bell…
* They”re “The only football team to come from Manchester”…
* They take 25,000 to every away…
* They”ve got salt and pepper on their hot dog stands…
* They had 17 managers in 20 years…
* They”ve got a gypsy curse on their massive pitch….
* Their best player ever played for Ajax reserves…
* They had a derby match with Macclesfield…
* They had Colin Bell who was “better than Best”(!)…
* They bought Steve Daly for a million quid…
* They tried to sign Geoff Thomas but he turned”em down…
* They dominated Europe in “68…
* They had the tallest floodlights in the Football League…
* They”ve got “tile on a roll” in the Oasis suite…
* They”ve got undersoil heating on Economy Seven…
* They get their corporate furniture from DFS…
* On the island of Bermuda there”s a Sean Goater day…
* They sell GM onions on their burger vans…
* They”ve got 23 fans on the Hoolie List…
* All their foreign players think they”re joining us…
* They had to stop playing Cooke “cos he”d cost too much…
* They sing about Munich to remember Frank Swift…
* They pay their own supporters to watch them get thrashed…
* The Council”s built “em a ground “cos they”re f**kin” skint…
* They had George Weah who thinks he”s Terry Waite…
* They”d open a museum but they”ve nothing to show…
* They let David Pleat dance all over their pitch…
* Man United ruined their lives…
* They”ve got Ian Bishop lifting shirts…
* They had a short fat georgian but he f**ked “em off…
* They stole Blue Moon from the mighty Crewe…
* There”ll be 10 blue b*****ds for every red…
* They”ve got got the hottest water in their baths…
* They”ve got vertical blinds in their Chairman”s office…
* They play at Gresty Road and Edgeley Park…
* They invade their pitch when they win 3 points…
* They”ve got a farmyard animal and they play him up front…
* They”ve got three million fans in Manchester…
* It”s been 29 years and they”ve won f**k all…
* They”ll stay up for 3 seasons – autumn, winter and spring…
* They empty Stockport when they play at home…
* They”ve got four different stands from a Meccano kit…
* All their fans live 10 minutes from Maine Road…
* They”ve got the biggest bananas in the land…
* They”ve got a centre forward with grooves in his head…
* Their managers got a papier mache head…
* You can see Old Trafford from the Kippax Stand…
* They”ll be relegated by bonfire night…
* They”ve got Greenalls bitter in the Kippax Stand…
* They”ve got the greenest grass in the whole of the world…
* They hounded Swales” mam into an early grave…
* They”ve been relegated ten times…
* They had a chairman and a manager that wore a wig…
* They”ve got Bernard Manning as their fattest fan…
* They used to be little, but now they”re large…
* They sing racist chants, coz they”ve got no class…
* They”ve got seats behind the net called the Colin Bell End…
* We had Black and white tellies when they won the league…
* It takes the nit nurse twelve months to check Joe Royle”s head…
* When we did the double double, they bombed our town…
* All the Moss Side kids wear United shirts…
* All city shirts are extra large…
* They”re a 5 minute walk from curry mile…
* They”ve got a million ball boys on their books…
* Stevie Coppell went there and they drove him mad…
* Their Big Match Mascot is from Outer Space…
* Jean Michel Jarre played at Maine Road…
* They”ve joined up with Cherry Orchard…
* They had the second best team in Division Two…
* They had the third best team in Division Three…
* They get a million web site hits every day…
* They skin up joints as big as havanna cigars…
* They”ve got a hundred million members in the Junior Blues…
* They drink steins of lager instead of pints…
* They grow prize winning veg in their back gardens…
* They”ve got scores of verses in their massive song…
* They sold second-hand seats to York City…
* They”ve got a GIANT scoreboard at Maine Road…
* They had the lowest crowd in the Cup Winners Cup…
* They had a great time in the lower leagues…
* They bought Rodney Marsh to win the league…
* They tried to help Villa to win the league…
* They”ve beat United once in 20 years…
* They tried to sign the tallest striker in Europe… (That”s the 100th verse)
* They had a relegation decider on the opening day…
* They could have bought Figo for a million pounds…
* They moved their training ground to be next to ours…
* They spent more than United in the close season…
* When they signed George Weah they were on CNN…
* Stockport put four past them at Edgeley Park…
* They went down the season after winning the league…
* Their only decent player”s on a pension cheque…
* They copied their away kit from AC Milan…
* They sell the most merchandise in Manchester…
* They”ve won fewer leagues than Huddersfield Town…
* They went forward with Franny to Division 2…
* *Cheer up Kevin Keegan* tipped them to win the League…
* Alfie Haaland”s got a anti Man Utd site…
* They”ve got the softest bog rolls – care of Franny Lee…
* They had Georgie Weah with his shiny red boots…
* They need 11 new players if they want to stay up…
* They”ve got 40,000 on their waiting list…
* Fifteen years on and it”s still 5-1…
* Steve Lomas timewasted and down they went…
* They had the world”s tallest player in Niall Quinn…
* They”ve got Shaun Wright-Phillips who”s the new Pele…
* They”ve got Nicky Weaver who”s worth 16 Mil…
* They”ve got Alfie Haaland, the world”s fittest player…
* They say Goater is a cult, but they really mean cunt…
* They got beaten 4-0 on the opening day…
* It”ll be 25 years in 2001…
* They”ll be playing in the Nationwide again next year…
* They had Kennedy thrown out of the Ireland squad…
* They were the third team to win the League Cup twice…
* They boo their own captain “cos they”re loyal fans…
* They had Joe Royle opening a Makro store…
* Their whole squad”s worth less than United”s best player…
* Their League Cup triumph”s out on Beta-Max…
* They dropped their captain “cos he scored an own goal…
* They”ve only won 9 trophies in their history…
* They have a record number of stabbings in Platt Fields Park…
* Their best ever keeper preferred to sit on our bench…
* Howard Kendal left them and Coppell went mad…
* Their most successful player is the goalkeeping coach…
* Their new centre half couldn”t get in a crap Rangers team…
* They”ve got Paulo Wanchope who”s dicks bigger than Yorke”s…
* They beat the future Treble Winners away from home…
* They help Man United to win the League…
* You can see New York from the floodlights…
* Their kit man”s got the biggest stud spanner in the world…
* They signed Roy Castle but he didn”t last long…
* They signed Roecastle and he was worse…
* You can buy ouzzi rifles from their souvenir shop…
* They won the football league down at Elland Road…
* They”ve got an overspill car park in Cheadle Hulme…
* They go to Barcelona in their wettest dreams…
* They”ve got a sky blue carpet in their trophy room…
* The only cups they have are in the canteen…
* They signed Wanchope “coz he scored at OT…
* They”re World Famous on Moss Side…
* They got 17,000 in the Worthington Cup…
* Joe Royle”s dad is a red…
* They”re the best supported club in the House of Commons…
* And it”s forward with Franny and Swales out…
* They paid 3 million pounds for Bradbury…
* They”re moving to Eastlands coz Maine Rd”s so Big…
* They play at places like Sincil Bank…
* They play in the first round of the Worthington Cup…
* They”ve got cobwebs not trophies in their cabinet…
* They get 30,000 nearly every week…
* They sold all their best players who could have kept them up…
* They trashed their own pubs cos Millwall went home…
* Keithie Curle was Mark Hughes” best mate…
* They ran back in the North Stand cos they shat their pants…
* They had a German car thief in their midfield…
* Tony Coton left to be a red reserve…
* They had Coppell as manager for 41 days…
* They celebrate on the pitch before they go up…
* They”re hospitable to neighbours – gave County 4 points…
* They”ve got a 100% record – in the play-offs…
* Their attendances are higher in s**tty leagues…
* They scored six past Swindon, and still went down…
* They”ve got the fattest hooligans in their team…
* They say Nicky Butt”s got a City Tatoo…
* They”ve got Joe Royle on the minimum wage…
* They pay the first team with magic beans…
* They had the biggest ground in England in 1923…
* They”ve got Paul Calf as a typical fan…
* We were playing in Porto they were at Grimsby…
* We were in Monte Carlo they were at Huddersfield…
* They tried to borrow kit from the Parkside pub…
* They”ve got the hottest pies in the football league…
* They”ve got Lara Croft as a celebrity fan…
* They”re sponsored by a computer game…
* They”ve got the queerest keeper in the football league…
* They”re having a massive street party in their Jubilee year…
* Their most famous song is sung by reds…
* Weah f**ked “em off after less than 3 months…
* They get all their managers from Everton…
* They”re 30 mins walk from the Metrolink…
* United even knicked their tannoy man…
* Potatoehead turned Inglund down to coach the blues…
* They”ll have spiral exits on their new council ground…
* A World Player of the Year couldn”t get in their team… (That”s the 200th verse)
* They”ve got a “Feed the Goat” section on Soccer AM…
* They scored the best own goal in a Cup Final…
* They”ve had more bosses than the mafia…
* All their players are at home on international weeks…
* Their most famous goal was scored by a red…
* They use snide journos for publicity…
* They had John Bond and his useless son…
* They had Malcolm Allison and his massive cigars…
* They had Peter Swales and his massive wig…
* They had the stuttering winger Peter Barnes…
* They had the great Colin Bell until Buchans lunge…
* They”ve had loads of cup semis on their massive pitch…
* They had an African pensioner but he f**ked em off…
* They were the 4th team in town behind Stockport and Bury…
* You can see their massive pitch from the massive blue moon…
* They had Alan Ball with his squeaky voice…
* They won a play off final the week we did the treble…
* They”ve got the heaviest player in the League…
* Paul Hince has won the Pullitzer Prize…
* You could get into Maine Rd by climbing a wall…
* They”ve got the shiniest boots in the Football League…
* There”s more reds than blues in the Parkside pub…
* They”ve got the sturdiest goal posts in the Football League…
* The Guvernors had Stone Island before anyone else…
* Their North stand got run in their finest hour…
* They had Brian Horton – who the f**k is he?…
* They”ve got extra wide turnstiles for their MASSIVE fans…
* They come from Cheshire but pretend they”re Manc…
* Their ground”s the first on MOTD”s opening credits…
* A Goater miss is a massive miss…
* They”ve had a curb crawler skipping round their pitch…
* They rated Buster Phillips at 10 million pounds…
* Their fans have children who support the reds…
* They field a full strength team in the Worthington Cup…
* They”ve got a silver second kit for the anniversary…
* They”ve got the fastest team bus in the Premier League…
* David May is a MASSIVE fan…
* Summerbee”s son was a red…
* They”ve got Gary Owen as their bitterest fan…
* They take their “Feed the Goat” banners on England-aways…
* Since they last won a trophy we”ve won eighteen…
* They”re the second best team in the whole of Stockport…
* They”re the best supported team in the whole of Rochdale…
* Their programme”s got more pages than anyone else…
* Their shop in the Arndale shut-down after six months…
* You never see a blue shirt on Coranation Street…
* Other fans sing “city are from Manchester”…
* The kids who support city are the ones who get picked on…
* The dads who support city are the ones that get picked on…
* Noel and Liam hardly ever go…
* Joe”s real name is Mr. Potato-head…
* Their best players would”nt make our third team…
* They”ve got a former United star as Goalkeeping coach…
* They wanted Kiddo but he turned em down…
* Sky own 10% just like they do with us…
* They”ve got Frank Sidebottom with his MASSIVE head…
* They”ll be be in Europe soon coz Joe Royle said…
* There brand new ground holds less that Old Trafford…
* They”ve got a piece of turf in their trophy room…
* They”ve got a Wembley Playoff Rememberance Kit…
* They”ve put the play-off final on their honours list…
* It”s the Referee”s fault when they lose five nil…
* They copy our songs “cos they can”t write their own…
* They were a top 5 club in 1892 ..
* They had a player suspended for bribery …
* Their oldest ever player was 49…
* They were the League”s highest scorers but still went down…
* They”ve had the same floodlights since “53…
* They were the first team promoted after World War Two …
* They”ve had 20 managers since World War Two…
* They had the “hole-hearted” Hartford in midfield …
* They haven”t won the FA cup since “69 …
* They had 5 different grounds before Maine Road …
* They”ve got a Latin phrase on their massive badge ..
* They had Bert Trautmann and his broken neck …
* They had Gary Owen who had no neck …
* Keith Curle said “Watch out United”…
* They said Rick Holden was “world class”…
* They use United”s name to sell their books…
* All their “die hard” fans are from Altrincham…
* They want the new Nike ball coz its really round…
* They”ve got MASSIVE carparks for all their non-Manc fans…
* Their Fans are so bitter they sweat lemon juice…
* They”ve got reinforced seats for their MASSIVE fans…
* They”ve got the roundest centre circle in the Football League…
* They”ve got the straightest lines on a football pitch…
* They had Matt Busby in his playing days…
* They wanted Ralphie Milne but we told them “f**k OFF”…
* They crocked Dennis Irwin in his tesimonial…
* Barry Town were in Europe when they were at Stoke…
* They”ve got a guard dog to guard their ground…
* They have reinforced toilets for their MASSIVE fans…
* They”ve got MASSIVE lawn mowers for their MASSIVE pitch…
* They had the tallest ladders for their tallest floodlights…
* They had a record signing in Keith Curle…
* Their massive attendance record was when United played there…
* Their Chairman does the books for f**k…
* Neil Young became a milkman when he retired…
* …And they still haven”t given him a testimonial…
* Their fans sing “It”s just like being in church” at away games… (That”s the 300th verse)
* Only genuine Mancunians are allowed in at Maine Road…
* There”s laser blue poppin” up all over New York…
* Dennis Tueart is balder than Bobby Charlton…
* Prawn sandwiches are banned at Maine Road…
* They”ve got the largest bath plugs in the league…
* They sacked a good Manager in Peter Reid…
* They were 5th in the league when they sacked Peter Reid…
* They were runners up in the Full Members Cup…
* The Whitley brothers are better than the Nevilles…
· * There”s more Manchester based junior blues than worldwide cub scouts…
* Brain Horton got more frontpages than Becks and Posh…
* They”re the reason Manchester got the Commonwealth Games…
* Alex Ferguson doesn”t bother turning up to the derby…
* They”ve got luminous socks on their new Silver kit…
* They”ve got more gold stars than McDonalds staff…
* They won more than United in the seventies…
They”re the better team when they lose 5-nil…
* They sell student tickets – but they”re all local fans…
* They changed their name before Newton Heath did…
* They play ten at the back and can”t keep a clean sheet…
* They had a Georgian superstar who couldn”t drive straight…
* They”ve got two players with double-barreled names…
* They put their Central League wins on their honours list…
* Don Brennan followed them on his one leg…
* Their “Gaffer” sold us Denis Irwin for 3/4 of a mill…
* Their future England keeper got lobbed from the spot…
* They have got the naffest away strip in the Premier League…
* They had Summerbee (who was bumming Lee)…
* They”ve got a MASSIVE ground in a housing estate …
* Their fat goalie can”t get in the England squad …
* They”ve got Wanchope and his MASSIVE rubber legs …
* They”ve got Andy Morisson and his MASSIVE waist …
* They got coloured netting before anyone else …
* Their executive boxes have seats outside…
* They had a player with the same name as an astronaut…
* They”ve loaned last month”s captain to Birmingham…
* They”ve got “Starsky” Kennedy who jumps on cars…
* They”ve won absolutely nothing for 25 years…
* They chuck chips and curry at visiting fans…
* They lent their MASSIVE pitch to the Reds who scored ten…
* They”re so much BIGGER than Accrington Stanley…
* They had a MASSIVE “keeper called Frankenstein…
* They signed a MASSIVE star from Bolton Wanderers…
* The Kippax is “taller than Old Trafford”s North Stand”…
* Howard Kendall left them for an older woman…
* Only ciddy fans understand the Offside rule…
* There”s a sauna in the ciddy dressing room…
* Eastlands will be full every other week…
* Frank Clark turned down Barcelona to manage them…
* Uwe Rosler was ciddy”s Mark Hughes…
* Colin Bell is a wine-waiter in the Silver Suite…
* Kevin Phillips can”t wait to join ciddy…
* Alan Ball has won more World Cups than Fergie…
* All their season-ticket holders free balti pies…
* Every ciddy player has a ciddy tattoo…
* All the ciddy Directors are self-made millionaires…
* No one at ciddy watches football on Sky…
* Irwin chose ciddy for his testimonial…
* Every ciddy fan is a shareholder…
* David Bernstein wears a better wig than Peter Swales…
* Curle pointed at the goal and Giggsy scored…
* They once had five managers in only six months…
* They”ve got more fans than United………if you include the ABU”s…
* They want Dion Dublin for his MASSIVE dick…
* Tueart f**ked em off to play in LA…
* They don”t throw pennies, they throw two pound coins…
* They couldn”t get Oasis to sponsor their kit…
* They think it”s cool to wear replica shirts…
* Shaun Goater is better than Hughes…
* You get a free pac-a-mac if it rains…
* Curle got 2 England caps in one game, his first & last….
* They play on a gypsy caravan site….
* City are everybody”s second team….
* They scored two goals and got beat 3-2….
* They”re all Mancs but Weah supported them as a boy…
* They scored 4 goals in the ZDS final…
* They let in 5 goals in the ZDS final…
* They concede at least four goals on every London away…
* They”ve got a gymnasium under the pitch…
* They won 88 minutes of the derby…
* They donate money to our best players…
* They”ve got the poor man”s Beatles as part-time fans…
* They threw money to Beckham coz he”s f**kin class…
* They”ve got plastic kestrels on the Kippax Stand…
* They”ve got a short arsed Aussie mad man with a comedy nose…
* The biggest stars at ciddy are the ones on their socks…
* They”ve had the most broken necked “keepers since time began…
* They want Les Ferdinand cos he has a MASSIVE dick too ..
* Becks beat Weaver from a long way away…
* They lost 5-0 the day we won 5-0 …
* They had two in the wall for Beckham”s kick …
* Manchester United only beat them 1-0…
* They bid for Conceiciao, he laughed his bollocks off…
* Ian Wrights son is a twat like his dad…
* They”ve got a talentless Aussie with a MASSIVE gob…
* They even make their own mascots cry…
* They”ve got Shaun Goater who”s the next Mark Hughes…
* They”ve got Richard Littlejohn to do their PR…
* They need two grounds for all their fans…
* They”ve got the biggest dugout in the world… (That”s the 400th verse)
* They do the four minute mile down Oxford Road…
* Weah come and he wanna go home…
* They”ve got the whitest touchlines in the land…
* Their tickets for away games go on open sale…
* They had their tickets stolen for Villa Park…
* Liam Gallagher said; he was at first a red..
* Noel changed his mind and now they aren”t mates…
* They”ve got the best young striker but he”s never scored a goal…
* They”ve got Ian Wright as a die-hard celebrity fan…
* Their brand new pitch will be 12 miles wide…
* Reds say their blues to take the piss on 606…
* We they win 5-0 they”re over the blue moon…
* They want Dalgleish with his MASSIVE arse…
* They”ve got Bernhard Manning with his MASSIVE stomach…
* They say big Joe Royle should next England manager…
* They”ve got Mancunian fans with cockney accents…
* They”ve got Mancunian fans with Irish accents…
* They”ve got Mancunian fans with Yorkshire accents…
* You can feed all of Europe with Joe”s potatohead…
* They”re the reason why Manchester didn”t get the Olympics…
* FA Cup third round is a MASSIVE achievement…
* Nicky Weaver is England”s eighth-choice…
* Blueview is a MASSIVE website…
* Mani ripped Noel on Soccer AM…
* They say no reds turned-up as they ran on derby-day…
* They think that Stockport is the centre of Manchester…
* They say the submarine song is “an absolute disgrace”…
* But them singing Munich is “a funny piss-take”…
* Father Christmas is a MASSIVE Red-hating, lazer blue …
* They say they”ll be in Europe next season, when they mean the Nationwide…
* When Joe”s big-head is in front of the sun there is a solar eclipse…
* Nicky Weaver is elligable for their womens team…
* They say their gonna a sign world-class striker after every defeat…
* Joe caused a famine in Ireland when he left with his MASSIVE head…
* Mr Potatohead from ToyStory is based on Joe Royle…
* The word MASSIVE in the dictionary has Man City written next to it …
* They sing Who Let The Goat Out – a classic song…
* The fans try to be witty but just sound like pricks…
* Paul likes to show his Dickov during the game…
* They take the piss, but only out of themselves…
* They sing “Royle out” if they lose a game…
* Laurel and Hardy were celebrity fans…
* They think Jesus would sing “Munich” if he went to Maine Road…
* They”ve got the wettest pitch in the Premier League…
* They want Cardiff in the cup for more Euro aways…
* They borrow United”s covers when it rains…
* They borrow United”s groundsmen “cos they ain”t got their own…
* George Weah said “Do you play in Red?”……
* They can”t afford a ground or a training pitch……
* Bertie Magoo is a Rossendale blue……
* They”ve got the Costa Rica”s coaches favourite player…
* They”ve got MASSIVE puddles on their MASSIVE pitch……
* They”re goin down on their silver jubilee……
* Bob the Builder”s won more cups than them…
* They have the biggest numbers on the back of their shirts…
* They score own goals from the halfway line…
* They”ve got no players in the England team…
* After 93 Seconds – they were one-nil down…
* They threw their dole money at Beckham”s head…
* They have no roofs on two of their stands…
* They”ve got the biggest programme in the League…
* They evacuate their ground when they”re 3 – 0 down…
* They”ve got a plastic seagull hanging from the Kippax Stand…
* They”re the subject of a Phone-in conspiracy…
* They go crying to the papers when we wind “em up…
* Their groundsmen”s left them coz the pitch was too big…
* 4 people on a phone in can rock the boat…
* Gary Owen”s never seen city play bad…
* Stepney is a spy and he”s made Weaver s**te…
* MASSIVE MASSIVE MASSIVE,MASSIVE MASSIVE MASSIVE…
* Franny Lee”s wig was made from pubic hair…
* Nicky Weaver f**ked a bloke in some bogs…
* They”re chuffed to f**k if we only draw…
* They”ve been banned from talking on 606…
* Curly Watts hit the bottle “cos the football was s**te…
* Their shares are not allowed on the Stock Exchange…
* They sang “Two-Nil up and f**ked it up”…
* Even Ian Bishop went and f**ked “em off…
* They”ve got a Grange Hill extra and he plays on the wing…
* They”ve got a south-facing pitch to catch the sun…
* They haven”t sacked a manager for four whole years…
* They sold Trevor Francis coz couldn”t afford his pay…
* Stockport County want them as a feeder club…
* They”ve got their very own page on teletext…
* They sold their best ever striker to Torino…
* There”s a massive fake market in their lazer blue shirts…
* They signed a Russian to captain their sub…
* They claim they had a player who scored 10 goals in a row…
* They get massive arse licking from the Evening News…
* They”ve got Stuart Hall as a celebrity thief…
* You can watch their new stadium being built on the internet…
* They got twatted in Moss Side by Coventry…
* They ca”nt fill their ground in an FA Cup match…
* They”ve sold the 3rd most shirts in the British Isles…
* They gave Paulo Wanchope the chop…
* The biggest cups at siddy are in Lara Croft”s bras…
* They had the Goal of the Season disallowed…
* They had Adie Mike who”s a Conference star…
* They”ve got two brothers called Jeff and Jim…
* In training they karate-chop planks of wood… (That”s the 500th verse)
* They sign a new loan player every week…
* They see sports psycologists for therapy…
* Their substitutes buy houses for half a million quid…
* They have the biggest ketchup bottles in the world…
* They have the biggest burgers in the league…
* They”ve got the whole football league on their books…
* They signed 3 foreign players in one day…
* They”ve got 3 figure shirt numbers…
* They put their Club Captain on the transfer list…
* They play 10 against 12 – away from home…
* Dickoff”s like a character from “The Holy Grail”…
* They”ve got the biggest changing rooms in the land…
* They”ve been robbed more times than Victoria Wine…
* Wesley Brown could have been a blue…
* They”ve got a twat called Tiatto who”s better than Giggs…
* The sinking sub gave the chop to the subbed wanchope…
* They got 3007, but 4 four were krauts…
* United”s Youth Team gets bigger crowds…
* Their fans cheered Rosler”s grandad in his Heinkel bomber…
* They”ve got the worst plumbing in the Premier League…
* They send Fire Engines “cos they”ve got no lads…
* They gave 180 quid towards the Silver Do…
* They do the biggest one-two”s in the world…
* They”ve got a sheep shagging reject called Huckerby ..
* Giggsy left them when he was three …
* Ian Wright”s love child is their biggest hope …
* 17 managers just couldn”t cope …
* Ask their old captain what he thinks of those fans …
* They couldnt sign Lomas whose a gingered haired twat …
* Weaver and Dickov are very fat …
* They think Goater”s as good as Yorke coz their both from the Carribbean…
* They”ve got Shaun s**te Phillips as a super sub…
* They”ve got Huckerby who passes better than Beckham…
* They are the reason Noel Gallaghers addicted to drugs…
* We have more Spice Girls as our fans…
* Kanchelskis only plays to pay the mob…
* Richard Dunne weighs more than their trophy room…
* Weaver is better than Massimo Taibi…
* Tiatto skins players more than Giggs…
* They”ve got more Aussies in their squad…
* Huckerby has had more clubs than tiger woods…
* They buy a new player every week…
* They had a thieving b*****d in a Bangkok nick…
* They had David Cassidy play at Maine Road…
* They get a minibus to train before every match…
* They say Sarah-Lou”s a bluenose, is she f**k …
* They win promotion every other year…
* You can see Sheffield from the top of the stand…
* The Eastlands will be handy for the Velodrome…
* They”re going to Bell Vue but the zoo has gone…
* They”ve got a f**king huge bench for their MASSIVE squad……
* Even Rodney Marsh thinks they are crap…
* They”ve blighted more lives than foot and mouth …
* They dropped through dropped Weaver”s hands into the Nationwide…
* Their kits are made by le coq sportif…
* Their new keeper was signed from the fans “local” town…
* Carlo Nash was sponsored by a curry house…
* They had a streaker on the pitch who left his OLD city shirt on…
* They had a sit down protest, only one turned up…
* They said the keeper did fine when he let in four goals…
* They”ve got a calamity keeper worth more than Barthez…
* The crowd are “magnificent” when they leave at half time…
* Australia”s world record is under threat…
* They”ve got Clitheroes keeper – Carlo Nash!…
* They had a ginger manager who”s balls hadn”t dropped ..
* Like Forest and Blackburn, they”re too good to go down…
* They sell more meat pies that The Rags …
* They sell more potato pies than The Rags …
* They Never Finish A Season In The Same Division
* Their Away Kit socks can be seen from space……
* They lend their Stewards to Stockport County…
* Their best ever manager was Alan Ball…
* They”ve got illuminous socks for when their massive lights fail …
* They lasted a whole season in the Premiership…
* Haaland”s got Keano”s tattoo on his knee…
* Andrei Kanchelskis is a MASSIVE name…
* England”s future keeper is in their reserves…
* They”ve got Alfie Haaland with a hole in his knee…
* They”ve got *Cheer up Kevin Keegan* and his MASSIVE perm…
* They have a pitch invaision at their final game…
* They”ve got a fat Geordie reject in the centre of defence…
* They”ve got a new boss who”s an England reject…
* A beach soccer player wants to play for them…
* Donachie wanted to leave, so they”ve kidnapped him…
* They”ve had 20 club managers in 30 years…
* *Cheer up Kevin Keegan* said they”re a sleeping giant…
* Massive is Keegan”s favourite word…
* Alma Baldwin wished them well…
* They signed a player whose career was ended by Andrew Cole…
* They sign players who are already planning to leave…
* They can”t go to Millwall cos they”re too f**kin hard…
* They”ve got a Joe Pasquale sound-alike on Century…
* They got *Cheer up Kevin Keegan* on MSN…
* *Cheer up Kevin Keegan*”s not allowed to say the “M” word…
* They”re going into Europe now that Keegans there…
* They”ve got the Seniors Cup in their trophy room…
* They could have played in Europe but Fowler”s a cunt…
* They”ve got Paulo Wanchope, who”s better than Ali…
* Dwight and Andy shagged a City fan”s bird…
* They drive open top buses instead of cars
